Dreamer To Dreamer…

 

Dream First, Love Later: A Personal Advice to Civil Services Aspirants

By Dr. Sunil S Rana

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.” - Colin Powell

As a student of history and an ardent observer of India’s Civil Services, I’ve seen lives transformed, destinies rewritten, and dreams fulfilled - not through chance, but through discipline and focus.

So, today, I pen this piece not as a sermon, but as a heartfelt suggestion to the young boys and girls who are preparing for what is undoubtedly the most prestigious and competitive examination in the country - the Civil Services Examination conducted by UPSC.

Know Your Destination Before You Choose a Companion for the Journey

Before anything else, I urge you to ask yourself one honest question - what do you want most right now?

If the answer is to become an IAS, IPS, IFS, IRS or any Group A Officer serving this nation, then that must become your foremost priority.

In this journey, you don’t just need intelligence or academic excellence -you need unwavering focus. Distractions, even the seemingly beautiful ones, can derail you. Yes, I’m talking about romantic entanglements during preparation.

Love is a beautiful feeling, no doubt. But there is a time and place for everything, and the time for love is after you’ve secured your dreams - not while you are chasing them.

Training Academies: Where Goals Meet Soulmates

Once you clear the exams, life takes a transformative turn. You’re sent for foundational and specialized training at some of the most elite academies in India:

• Lal Bahadur Shastri National Academy of Administration (LBSNAA) -Mussoorie (for IAS and central training)
• Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel National Police Academy (SVPNPA) -Hyderabad (for IPS)
• National Academy of Direct Taxes (NADT) - Nagpur (for IRS)
• Foreign Service Institute (FSI) - New Delhi (for IFS)
• Indira Gandhi National Forest Academy (IGNFA) - Dehradun (for Indian Forest Service)
• National Academy of Indian Railways (NAIR) - Vadodara (for IRAS, IRPS, IRSE, etc.)

These academies are more than just institutions - they’re melting pots of bright minds, shared aspirations, and profound bonding. Here, among like-minded peers, many civil servants have found not just professional grooming, but their life partners too.

Real Stories. Real Bonds. Real Success.

Let’s look at some real-life examples that reinforce this idea:

• Tina Dabi (IAS) & Athar Aamir Khan (IAS) - Met during training at LBSNAA. While they later separated, their journey began amidst the academic and administrative atmosphere of Mussoorie.
• Armstrong Pame (IAS) & Mercy Epao (IAS) - Both from Northeast India, they found their connection during their IAS training.
• Aparajita Sarangi (IAS) & Santosh Sarangi (IAS) - The power couple who not only built stellar careers but also nurtured a lifelong companionship, all beginning with training.

These are just a few among hundreds of couples whose love blossomed not during late-night study calls or endless chats during coaching, but in the structured, respectful, and mature environment of their training academies.

Love Can Wait; Dreams Cannot

I’ve seen both sides of the coin.

Yes, some couples have successfully cracked the exam while being in a relationship- their courtship becoming their anchor and motivation.

But unfortunately, I’ve seen far more aspirants fall apart - their preparation consumed by emotional turbulence, misunderstandings, endless hours spent in ‘ruthna-manana’, and eventually watching their dreams slip away.

No matter how mature you are, a romantic relationship during preparation is a constant mental investment - and this exam demands your mind, heart, and soul.

So, to all those who are still single and tempted by momentary attractions during their prep phase, hold your horses and tighten your reins. The real race hasn’t even started yet.

“Shaadi ke liye Mussoorie chale jao” - A Light-Hearted Truth

There’s an inside joke among Civil Services aspirants:

“Shaadi ke liye coaching mat jao, Mussoorie chale jao.”

And honestly, there’s some wisdom in that jest. The kind of companionship that comes from shared purpose, collective training, and institutional camaraderie is leagues ahead of immature infatuations built during stressful coaching days.

Your training academy will give you not just knowledge, confidence, and administrative acumen- but also a chance to meet people who think like you, dream like you, and have sacrificed like you.

Your Parents’ Dreams Are on the Line Too

Let us never forget the silent prayers and lifelong sacrifices of our parents who stand behind our ambitions like a wall.

To waste away the most critical months or years of your life in distractions would be a disservice not just to yourself, but to them as well. They’ve dreamt this dream with you, maybe even more intensely than you.

Let your success be their reward.

Parting Thoughts

Success in Civil Services is not just about writing good answers - it’s about building a personality that’s mature, focused, emotionally intelligent, and value-driven.

Love will wait. Life will wait. But opportunities won’t.

So aim for the stars first. And who knows? You might just find your moon shining brightly next to you at LBSNAA or SVPNPA someday.

From one dreamer to another,

With respect and encouragement,

Dr. Sunil S Rana